Change is Not a Good Enough Reason

Why do things have to change? I mean, I understand that people change, but I hate it. It seems as if life is going so well and I am surrounded by people that I love and trust, and then the dynamics change. Suddenly I am blind-sided and I am not as important to those I was close with. My novelty has worn off. It is true that it takes work to find those few people who are worth the time that you spend on them. It hurts, though. I used to think that one of my best friends thought that I was special and they saw something in me that only a few had seen. Cut to us a year and a half later, they have given up on me. We are losing contact and cannot talk like we used to, and they are not even willing to fight for me, for our friendship. So for those of you who are reading this, fight for those that you love the most. Make the phone calls, write the letter, e-mails, and messages, think of the surprises, keep them a priority, listen to them and make the changes. Do not leave everything up to fate. Yes, we change, but changing without someone is completely different than using it as an excuse to not try to fix things.

These Nights

I want to run so fast and feel everything around me. You know how you hear music and you feel as if you could do anything. Ideas start pumping through your head about how you will improve your life and become a better person because nothing seems impossible. It seems as if I have never loved harder and never felt such pure emotions. These are the nights that I want to be with my boyfriend. I want to be driving at night with the windows down and our favorite music turned up LOUD and us laughing because we are together. I want to be out with a huge group of friends at a club and dancing all night because we can and we are inhibited with each other. We know each other and we never judge. I want it to be raining outside so that I can play in it and feel free and childlike. These are the nights that I want movies to be reality and all my favorite people in the world to be gathered around me. I never want to lose the feeling that I now have. These are the nights that I smile without hesitation. My life is imperfect, and so am I, but, on these nights, it is okay. For once, everything is enough, and I love it.

none

i am losing something that i never wanted to let go of. it hurts, and i am scared.