Inspired Words

You inspire words within me
The way no one else has.
Is that becasue of you?
Maybe I am the one changing...

But the words come
They flow, course from my pen,
In my head all day.
The only release is to write them

Yet I find no satisfaction in them.
My hand still hungers to move
Itching to let the words out
Get them out even when my fingers pain.

You cause me to do this.
I cannot find the beauty that I crave
In your arms or your eyes or your bed
So I look for them in black and white.

Why do you do this?
What does it mean?
If you stop the games, do my words cease as well?
What happenes then?

My Little Black List

The little black list of names in my mind.
Reads loud and clear.
Marked up, scratched out, checked, circled;
Names, dates, memories

I scroll down this list, my list
Smile, frown, cry a tear or few
And I rememeber.
I promise, I rememeber

The end nears, the final name
It has been erased, starred, blacked out, re-written.
But my mind takes over and forces me to choose
Make a choice, decide.

This name, it leads to stuff.
A face, a memory, a touch, a fight, a boy.
This boy; the boy, a man maybe,
With the power to break my heart

And so my pen shakes with indecision
Above this name
I rememeber the words, the looks, the laughs, the hurt
And my pen continues to shake...