My Little Black List

The little black list of names in my mind.
Reads loud and clear.
Marked up, scratched out, checked, circled;
Names, dates, memories

I scroll down this list, my list
Smile, frown, cry a tear or few
And I rememeber.
I promise, I rememeber

The end nears, the final name
It has been erased, starred, blacked out, re-written.
But my mind takes over and forces me to choose
Make a choice, decide.

This name, it leads to stuff.
A face, a memory, a touch, a fight, a boy.
This boy; the boy, a man maybe,
With the power to break my heart

And so my pen shakes with indecision
Above this name
I rememeber the words, the looks, the laughs, the hurt
And my pen continues to shake...